Author Topic: To family members or friends of FDR members  (Read 3268 times)

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To family members or friends of FDR members
« on: January 27, 2012, 11:53:25 AM »
I thought it was a very useful thing when Conrad opened up a message board for family members at Liberating Minds. Some parents seemed to benefit from it, so I thought I would do the same here.

I know some of you may be desperate to connect--to figure out what happened or is happening to someone in your life. You also may be concerned about posting publicly. Here are some tips I learned at LiMi:
  • When you first register on the FDR Liberated Forum, create a user name that is different from your real name.
  • When you talk about your loved one, avoid specifics that might make it possible for him or her to identify you. In other words, instead of saying "My son sent us a standard FDR goodbye message at 11:30 PM on December 9th. He tied it to a brick that he threw through our window," just say "our child left us several months ago."
  • You don't have to be a parent to post in this section. Sometimes the parents are too grieving or in denial or whatever to reach out. I have been contacted by spouses, girlfriends, boyfriends, even once by the best friend of a girl who's brother defooed. I don't know how it all turned out, but at least she was able to educate the family about what they were up against.
  • It's OK if you use phrases like "my child," even if your child is actually a 20-something adult. Everyone will know you are trying to avoid revealing his or her gender.
  • I do encourage you to post here. There are other family members here who can give you useful advice.
  • If you want to contact another parent and are very concerned about posting here, then just create an account and send me a private message. I know who the parents are and I can forward you to them. (If this forum begins getting some more traffic, you'll be able to figure out who the parents are and contact them directly, avoiding the middle man!) You can also visit and contact the parent who runs that site.
It isn't about winning the debate. It's about the truth.