I found a 2007 post on FreeDomain Radio from a member asking for help in creating a “Defoo Checklist”—a list of preparations to make before you defoo.
I don’t know what the original post said, because this member went back later and replaced his original comments with a single line of periods. Then I noticed he had done that with all of his posts. It now appears that he has been gone from FDR for a long time.
Perhaps he had a falling out with Molyneux and deleted all of his posts. Or perhaps he began to see the problems in Molyneux’s psychology theories and no longer wanted to be associated with them in any way. Or something else. Who knows?
I’ll tell you one thing, though, he did inspire me! I’ve decided to take my own shot at a defoo checklist. If you have been an FDR member for some time and—after being in that environment—have begun to believe that you should defoo, try this first.
First, select any of the “convo” podcasts; i.e., the podcasts where Molyneux has a one-on-one conversation with his members about their family problems. (That should be easy. No matter what problem the member wants to talk about, the conversation nearly always winds back to the family.)
Next, if you have the time and money to spare, ask a legitimate, reputable therapist to listen to the podcast.
Finally, use this checklist of questions to ask the therapist about the podcast.
When you conduct therapy, do you concentrate on asking your patients open-ended questions as they find their way to a solution? Or do you continually suggest “theories”—about what the patient is really feeling (even though they haven’t expressed it) or the “true” motives of his/her parents? Sometimes the man in this podcast will follow his theories up with phrases such as “you’ve known it all along.” What do you think about that?
The man in this podcast says that the role of a therapist is to decide for the patient what his or her problem is and then “lead them” to see it. Is that what you do?
Making the connections.
As you can hear in this podcast, this man often “makes the connection” between the bad feelings the caller expresses and earlier events in his or her life—usually related to one or both parents. In other words, he connects the current bad feeling to some earlier parental wrongdoing (even though there isn’t an apparent connection) and then tries to convince the caller to accept his theory. For example, a young man was concerned about his extreme sensitivity to animal cruelty. Molyneux told the young man that those feelings indicate that his parents must have treated him like an animal. Do you make such connections for your patients as well? Is that helpful?
During the discussion, it seems as if sometimes the man is talking about his member’s problems but at other times he is planting his own theories about parents in general, as if there were universal truths about all parental behavior. For example, he often says “there is no such thing as one good parent and one bad parent.” If you are having trouble with one parent, then both parents are bad. That act of planting seems to guide and set the tone for the discussion. Is that what you do?
Maybe you’ve noticed this interesting speech pattern. The man on this podcast says some pretty obvious things to his caller in the beginning of the conversation followed by the phrase “Right? Right?” until the caller falls into the resultant pattern of “yes, yes.” The pattern continues later on, even when the man begins saying things that aren’t quite so obvious and could even possibly not be right. Do you notice that pattern? Does anything bother you about it?
…The only possible outcome is to drive the caller further away from his or her parents. Is that a therapeutically sound practice?
When this man and the caller reach the core of the relationship they are discussing, the man nearly always seems to demonize whoever the caller is complaining about. He actually seems to take the lead in casting them as having the worst motives possible and the most selfish intents. If the problem is with the caller’s parents (and it nearly always seems to be), he is not above calling them “monsters” or “satanic” creatures. The only possible outcome from this is to drive the caller further away from his or her parents. In fact, that appears to be the man’s intention. Is that a therapeutically sound practice?
This man says he is not conducting therapy. What does it sound like to you?
So, that’s my little defoo checklist. Whether the encouragement you received at FDR to separate from your family came first-hand from Molyneux or from his True Believer inner circle, they all apparently believe that the above elements are good therapeutic practices. That’s why Molyneux has proudly posted these podcasts in the first place.
Find out for yourself. Take the podcast and this checklist to a legitimate therapist and start asking questions.