It’s empathy—being curious and empathetic about your friends’/partner’s/family members’ feelings.
(Of course, just about every other “relationship” book ever written since the beginning of time has the same idea but it’s probably petty of me to point that out.)
But there is one incredible difference about Molyneux’s book and, frankly, a lot of what goes on at FDR.
I wrote about it in an article called Allison’s Last Card, in which two (now former) FDR members named bake and Allison completely shredded Molyneux’s RTR logic, darn it.
As one of them rudely pointed out, no matter what Molyneux wrote in his book, there is actually no empathy or curiousity within the FDR community for those outside, particularly for the parents and family members who have been discarded. I wrote about that in the article:
The vast majority of what goes on at FDR is a presumption of what outside parties are thinking. This is yet another synapse-threatening, unexplainable paradox of FDR.
- Did you get an e-mail from a defooed parent? Molyneux will tell you what they were thinking when they wrote it.
- Is there a paragraph in the letter you don’t understand? He will tell you the hidden manipulation behind it.
- Have a confusing RTR conversation with a parent? (It’s almost guaranteed you will). He will show you how the parent is using guilt to control you.
- Are you sad? Talk to Molyneux and he will link your current feeling to a parental abuse in your childhood and tell you what your parents were thinking when they did it.
Allison has aimed her dart aimed at another problem you don’t immediately notice about RTR. Much of the book may be about curiousity and empathy, but a greater portion of it is spent making assumptions about parents and others.
So yes, it’s paradox time once again. RTR is a cherished book in an environment where curious and empathetic members intentionally cut off communication with friends and families and spend the rest of their lives presuming what those ex-friends and family members think about it.
Sorry, family. No empathy for you.
We’re just going by the book here.